The cat that nearly lost its tail

One morning while bleary-eyed I was following my daily routine of breakfast with a cup of teas to take my medicine (which taste ridiculously revolting children, as medicines for adults always have to), when I spotted a cat, one of three that has happened to chose me to use me as her slave over the years.

Her nose was poking through the undergrowth in my garden. She had spotted something of great interest to her that I could not see. I decided to watch rather than go near as her claws and teeth are sharp as razors and as you know, all cats are royal and proud and don't like to be meddled with when they are on a mission of great importance.

It is a well known fact that there is nothing of more importance to a feline (all of which are royal) than food, unless it is sleep or tease and torment humans and all other creatures. Although it also seems pretty high up on their agenda to be a general nuisance and be the cause of criminal damage to furniture too - but that aside, food and hunting is the most important thing to a cat.

I decided to sit down on my back-door step and sip my tea to observe events from a safe distance. Frankly I feared that at some point I would have to spring into action to rescue some stray mouse or half chewed bird again. I was not in the mood to do so for, as I said I had only just got up from my own night-long nap and was therefore both bleary-eyed and not, as a cat always is, ready to spring anywhere fast. Cats are soooo very smug about that? Have you noticed?

They can go from totally sparko, out for the count, comatose to instantaneous attack mode faster than a speeding bullet and way faster than the speed of light... or so they will tell you, if you believe and can understand all they say as I do now I've been comprehensively trained by three of them.

As I watched, this furry fiend of an organic feline killing machine quite unaccountably jumped with all four paws losing contact with the ground most unexpectedly. This was very curious and I have to confess perplexing too. It is very rare indeed for a cat to be startled at all (if you believe and can understand all they say as I do).

At this point I should perhaps point out that one should always be respectful of royalty because they all have claws and teeth as sharp as razors one way or another. One should never laugh at them and only ever purr with them after permission has been granted, no matter how idiotically they may seem to behave. Cats are never idiotic (if you believe and can understand all they say as I do).

I continued to watch and wait to see what it was I might have to rescue from the furry feline fiendish monster this time. I confess to having become infected by a sense of curiosity which is a most dangerous and peculiar state to be in most of the time; after all it has been known to kill cats very easily. By this point I was almost alert enough to rescue whatever the cat had found, but not so quick of wit to grab my camera to record the event - which was a pity really as I think you would have enjoyed what followed as much as I did.

The cat continued to stalk what startled her, which in my humble opinion is not always the wisest thing to do. (Far be it for me to attempt to preach warnings to those who are adamant that they are wiser though). All things considered, her behaviour was so comical that I risked a smile which turned into a grin without her majesty's permission. I was fortunate she didn't notice this although I could tell she knew I was there from the brief twitch of one ear in my direction and one solitary flick of her tail. The grin on my face turned into a smirk and spread into a snigger and then a giggle and then... a laugh as her absurd behaviour just continued. Sniff, prod, startled jump! Sniff, prod, startled jump! Sniff, prod, startled jump!

Occasionally this had a slight variation of sniff, wiggle bottom, prod, startled jump, before returning to sniff, prod, startled jump! Sniff, prod, startled jump! Over and over again and well... repeatedly!

Luckily her royal highness was so intent on her hunting exploits that I only distracted her with my laughter enough to merit with one curt, stern, laser-beam glower before she was startled yet again. I did my best to stifle roaring with laughter and just about managed it because at that point I too was distracted by something else...

Just then the dog from next door ambled into my garden. He was a bit bleary-eyed too and forlorn, sullen and though I hate to say it, a bit sulky. He wasn't particularly impressed with my neighbour (his owner), who was busy gardening. He wanted to join in and help by digging everything up that they planted, but kept getting told off which he just couldn't understand at all.

Cats (if you believe and can understand all they say as I do), will tell you that all canines are daft, silly creatures. They are sooooo extremely stupid that if you throw a stick a dog will fetch it for you whereas a cat will never stoop to the level of picking up your rubbish. As we know we always have to tidy up after ourselves even though it's a tedious bore. However even chores like recycling can be made into a game as the dog well knew. My neighbour's dog was normally such a cheerful animal that I did feel rather sorry for him being told off when on another occasion he would have been rewarded with and extra bone to chew on for helping dig a hole for food rubbish to make compost. However even a royal feline knows that dogs can be unpredictable and dangerous and they can have claws and teeth bigger and more powerful than most small breeds of cat, though seldom as sharp.

Now, for many months this cat and this canine had been sizing each other up. The cat would do so from a safe distance, usually by teasing the dog by tip-toeing along a tall fence, tree or roof top; or glaring at it disdainfully from the kitchen window. Occasionally while in the garden, both would get so curious about each other that they would nearly touch noses. It was invariably ruined by and terminated by the all too familiar feline hiss which the dog was always most baffled by. It inevitably put a stop to his tail wagging and he would just amble off back to his home with a sad sigh. He just wanted a playmate after all and it seems he could never quite find enough people and things to play with, but for all that he very rarely sulked, never growled or complained. He's a very nice, well-behaved doggy indeed. Frankly both the dog and I were finding this cattish behaviour by her majesty rather tedious and childish, but neither of us dared say so to the cat.

And so... as the cat, intent on hunting continued to hunt and the dog... noticed the cat. When the cat became startled and jumped, the dog became startled and jumped. His ears pricked up and his head tilted to one side when she wiggled her bottom beforehand which he was thoroughly delighted by because his tail wagged faster with excitement. (I am moderately proficient in understanding canine body language and speech too, but please don't tell any cat or my life simply would not be worth living).

The dog was steadily getting ever closer after every startled jump to the point that he was about to catch the cat's tail in his big powerful jaws if not her entire bottom in one playful mouthful - just to see what might happen you understand, nothing more. He, as ever, just wanted to join in the fun and play and only wanted to grab her majesty's attention to ask permission. It couldn't possibly have been because he saw his chance to get revenge for all the disdainful glares he'd received I'm sure (or almost sure) as he inched closer and closer with his big happy jaw dripping with saliva and his rather large strong teeth glinting in the sunshine. Why he licked his lips and positively smiled and he wagged his tail so vigorously that it's a miracle he didn't wag his entire bottom off as it too seemed to be wagging in gleeful anticipation of something. No, I am almost certain he was being playful and had no intention whatsoever of causing her royal feline highness's tail or wiggling bottom any harm at all.

Have you ever heard a cat scream, children? It is a most piercing and disturbing sound as indeed it should be, as it is wrong to meddle with royalty and distress them, but equally it is wrong for them to distress us. However, being the appointed and most loyal slave of this royal furry fiend I was duty bound to stop the dog and protect her so... I picked up her royal highness by the scruff of her furry feline neck and pointed her face at the dog and dropped her! Ooops, so careless of me I know, but you remember don't you, that I was not fully awake. It was most definitely not deliberately done but an mere honest mistake from this oh so stupid human servant to an infinitely superior royal feline. And my decision on that is final, binding and non-negotiable for all eternity - just in case there are any silly and awkward questions to answer from anyone! The dog is my witness and I'm pretty sure my neighbour saw it too. (Note to self, remind the neighbour of what they witnessed today).

Instantly, the cat's tail puffed out like a demented, petrified, punk-style toilet-brush in a hurricane as did the fur along her spine. With her fur all on end and rigid she had literally doubled in size! She gave one long savage, angry hiss (fortunately for me at the dog) and hurtled past me at ten times the speed of light in a blur of fur, claw and needle sharp whiskers. At the same moment the dog too sensed great danger and shot past his owner to the safety of his back door whimpering pathetically, but I... (fanfare please) had saved the day! It is far better to have been frightened than to have been gobbled up or injured and everyone involved was both alive and well.

You might think I'd be up for an award for saving this feline's life... not one bit of it. One has to go way beyond one's normal duties for such honours from any royal, or so I've heard tell. The most a feline royal will do is head-butt you, endeavouring to try to trip you up as they do so if at all possible and maybe, just maybe give you a contented purrrrrrrrrr, purrrrrrr, purrrrrrr.

The moral of this tale dear children is that while focusing on one thing too intently one can often miss a greater danger that you know not of. This is why it is wise to have friends who willingly will help keep everyone safe and to always be on friendly terms with all your neighbours.

***

(For the adults among you, as I wrote this tale I was distracted by another story - one of Irish history where, when the greater danger came in the form of world war or two, even the bitter troubles between Britain and the Erin (aka Tara, aka the Irish Republic or Republic of Ireland) were put on hold for the most part. I myself am the product of a Anglo-Irish agreement between my parents, which although it didn't last as long as I hoped at least it didn't end in anyone killing each other - my parents' marriage lasted a good 20+ years. It did so largely because of sheer will-power and humour when so many criticised and attacked us all for that marriage's mere existence.

I hope that we can all learn to value life above the desire for vengeance; for the cost of war and violent conflict is not merely measured in the number who died but in the toll it takes on all those who survive it. It is never worth the pain whenever people can be decent enough to talk, negotiate and share rather than steal, grab and turn away from those in dire need of help.

People can and should learn how to touch noses as my cat and the door next door will do one day very soon no doubt in respectful acknowledgement of each other, if not in friendship. This much the Republic of Ireland and Blighty (aka Albion, aka Britain or if you prefer the United Kingdom) has done in it's most recent past. May no nation starve or steal from any other from this point forward. It is not, nor ever will be an adult, humane, intelligent or civilised way to behave. it saddens and degrades us all when we know it still continues.

The pictures are among many I try to take of animals... I suspect they are likely to remain more difficult to properly understand than even our own species but one tries one's best to learn and respect all if one truly wants to live in peace and harmony don't you think? Apologies once again for any grammatical errors or speeling mistooks that may irritate, I have not managed to be perfect but then to date I know of no one else who has either).

***

Epilogue

I suppose children of all ages, you'll be wanting to know what it was the cat was stalking that made her so startled that she jumped? Why it was a frog of course, no bigger than my thumb. It seemed totally bemused by the whole saga, almost as if it at been through it many, many, many times before. Do try to play nicely please, I have quite enough to do with that darn cat of mine that I seldom have time to chase after you!

Oh but, I should warn you children, oh darling little ones, that it's best not to have any mischievous ideas while I attend to her majesty the cat... cats have eyes everywhere and they often have adult servants to keep an eye on you! They meet up at night to plot things you know. Indeed many have teamed up with fierce and mighty, warrior wolves and some even with dogs and their owners who are are often also magical witches and wizards that pose as policemen, teachers, doctors, dentists and worst of all... sweet-snatchers and toy-trashers who are deployed as naughty child-catchers who will tease and pinch and snub and poke; and glue your hair and spit and joke... and generally not be very nice to you at all, So best beware and behave. At least, I've warned you.

"Yes... coming your majesty!" Must dash... her bowl needs filling again. Tch, royalty, eh... soooo demanding but she is rather good at warning me of danger too! ;-)

Mask works - exploring some uses

The above is entitled 'Behind the Mask' and appeared in an exhibition in Luton to raise funds for the then FSNBF or as it is known now the Fire Charity. I approached the charity and got no support from them but oodles from the the fire crews who gave me safety leaflets and posed for photographs and paintings. It was a pity their charity didn't have the time for me, because I was happy for it to take the works on tour or for them to use them however they wished for free, but their marketing team at the time didn't much like anyone else having ideas to raise money for their charity. I felt that was taking pride a bit far, but you can't win them all.

In the end, I left it to the Hat Factory in Luton to collect funds in a donation box and forward funds raised direct (which they did) as it all became too much of a palaver while recovering from the loss of a parent. I'm grateful to Luton Borough Council for their support in all that mayhem... I was perhaps a bit over ambitious at the time and no doubt didn't have the right communication style to do more. One learns from trying even if things don't turn out quite as planned. The paintings were eventually donated to another charity fire service.

We all wear masks to disguise many things that we don't want others to know. It's partly what keeps us safe right up until we need support because we're seriously ill or in danger. For me, the people who are most adept at wearing masks are those who's job it is to save our lives. Having worked in health care albeit briefly, I can tell you they all need to be saints while on duty. No one would put up with what is hurled at these lifesavers while off duty in any other field of work I can assure you. Do try to remember that the majority of people in the Police, Fire Fighting, Ambulance, Armed Forces and Health care are honest, diligent, caring, compassionate, responsible highly trained people doing their best to save you mainly from yourself a lot of the time.

It is when we are at our most vulnerable that all masks tend to fall away and not liking to feel exposed we tend to snap at the very people who are there to help. We all do it, I know I do when at my weakest too. Do try to remember to apologise afterwards please.

While masks need to fall away for others to help, paradoxically they can help us to heal too. Here's a snap of some mask making from a group session with MIND, one of many Mental Health charities. I found that it helped me to recover from my woes to help others but only once I'd confronted my demons and rested first. I thoroughly enjoyed delivering both art and drama workshops and hope to do more. In the workshop I encouraged people to imagine characters as far away from who they are as possible and the result was a couple of days of sheer unadulterated, non-analytical... fun.

Reinstating a sense of fun has been my approach to many endeavours, not least painting. It is strange to reflect on how I was steered away from paint brushes at school and for my degree but there is always time to catch up on anything you feel you have missed out on if you make the time and put in the effort to do so. We can and do create the person we want to become, but only when it is realistic enough for others to permit it. As they need the same courtesy and indulgence it tends to work out more often than it doesn't. When it fails, it can feel for a time that it's always failed which frankly is seldom true except where we find the severest forms of oppression which we call bullying and tyranny. In my opinion we should not only guard against that, but guard against perceiving our own lot in life as being worse than it often actually is. It's unrealistic as well as alarmingly delusional and hardly helpful to behave in such a way - the main problem being that those in real need get less support due to our gripes over things we can often sort ourselves so much of the time if we would but pause to think about it enough to work it out.

It seems masks have become a recurring theme to my life as from workshops I once found myself involved in line managing (among many departments) some professional mask makers at Trestle Arts Base. Would that everyone could and would conduct themselves through such times as these as Trestle do!

The cheery demeanour worn by staff in any organisation or field of work have to be tough when redundancies hit due to harsh economic conditions. Real tears don't show under a mask and it can be a shock to realise that those of high rank cry just as much as those of the lowest rank in such circumstances if you are not prepared for it. Why should it be a shock though? How could it be otherwise when we all care equally and have no choice but to work through such things together?

Year by year I get more proficient at many things to add to my experiences, but I never disguise my need to pull away when I am not up to mediating, healing, managing projects or working at all. I refuse to work under any regime that I do not believe to be right. I might well be proved wrong to hold that opinion about some employers and have been at times too, but very rarely so. Often it just needs a new team with more experience to sort not only working practices out but ethical values - people need the same song sheet to sing from as a basic starting point. It's pointless bullying staff as they invariably do a worse job than if you encourage them to be interested in their work and your organisation.

My work history has been to leave when I have done all I can and can do no more for that team. I figure it is someone else's turn then. Often when it's been a great team to work with; as with Luton Borough Council, MIND, Trestle, SEEE and Voyage Care (among others), a wave of loss hits me when it's time to move on. I content myself with the knowledge that others have the right to such magical experiences so the best I can do is enable them to have that opportunity too. It tends to work out fantastically well in the end as that way I am free to find a fresh new challenge for myself and end up encountering more wonderful people to share life with - that's what I call a win/win situation!

I close this post with a challenge inspired by an exercise in 'Poetry Now' from years ago. The challenge is to write a poem that starts with a line from someone else's work. I have chosen words from Elizabeth Jennings for you to begin your poem with, if you wish to that is.

"All the masks I carry on my face..."

I've done mine about a decade ago on this one and remain content with the result. If you'd like to read it, well it's one of my poetry books already published via Blurb. ;-)

Founder's Thoughts: Arty Facts

Wishing to take a break from worldly matters I've decided to return to the arts which is rather ironic as it always concerns itself with worldly matters. The arts have always been an outlet for human thoughts and feelings. It is where we find our fears and dreams and many an insight as to how to make both happen in reality. Unlike sports, the arts has and will always be an early warning system for troubles brewing, but in common with sport it provides an outlet for the relief of tension when they are upon us. Artists, like historians seem to be the keepers of information on past events pertaining to humanity's progress more than any other group.

My own stance is that art's greatest value is in being able to provide a voice to those who would otherwise have none. Via art we can heal by sharing our troubles and fears by working through them as well as expressing our hopes and dreams to find a way of making better things happen. From dance to drama, from music to literature and from to sculpture to painting, photography, print and embroidery everyone can and should be able to express what it is to be alive.

No artwork is ever quite complete without a response to it. We prove our existence by sharing experiences both good and bad and the arts enable us to do so relatively safely compared to other forms of dialogue. We seem to have greater options of control over who we choose to share things with when being creative as well as how we do so. Outside of counselling, art is the only place we explore ourselves and the world around us at the same time.

Artists in Training

The professional training of an artist in any discipline, is a curious process. Unlike any other profession the trainee artiste is encouraged to explore everything and make as many mistakes as possible so long as they take adequate precaution against injuries or death. Some are trained technically from the outset while others are trained to be expressive so that technique becomes secondary if applied at all.

Like anything else the more we do a thing, the better we become at it which goes a long way to explain why simply being expressive can result in being technically brilliant over a long period of time. Conversely, without thinking, a technically adept artist can become extremely expressive.

It is not surprising that artworks cause controversy, much of it is designed to. The artist both consciously and subconsciously questions just about everything. Rather like Socrates most artists tend not to bother with providing answers, preferring to complete their masterpiece by allowing you the audience to decide that thereby quite rightly relinquishing all responsibility for your response. In many respects I feel art's role is meant to be awkward, fickle and contradictory for it's purpose above all is to reflect what it is to be human and in the process query our morality and logic. Hence why all art is said to mirror life. The result of your response to an artwork reveals much more about you than it does the artist to which invariably the artist will respond. In that regard it is a perpetually beautiful circular relationship if at times frustrating for both parties.

Enabled while Disabled

As yet I haven't got round to crowdfunding for my kiln which is a pity as my home is rather awash with unfired pieces now, some more understandable and readily accessible than others. I seem to have got sidetracked by more pressing matters - I can't think why.

I'm not entirely sure what exactly I had in my mind when I made this piece. All I do know is that each time I experience it my response changes because whereas it doesn't change, I am always evolving. Artists are extremely changeable. Few realise why but it is simply because thoughts and feelings are transient unless and until we feed them. Best to be careful over which we feed. As human beings we are always changing as new experiences teach us new things to alter our perspective. If this wasn't true we would still retain the same attitude and behaviour as we displayed the day we were born. Sometimes I look upon a creative effort and pat myself on the back for the skill I have used, on another day I can look on the same piece and observe how much skill was lacking to make it.

We can all feel so sure no one could mistake what we've tried to convey to others only to find we've missed out on how they relate to the world. The result can be and often is that we find ourselves completely misunderstood. Our options is to try again if it seems worthy of our time and effort but it often requires a different approach, technique or angle to connect with beings even stranger than ourselves, even among our own species.

What relevance has this to worldly things? As every true scientist and artist knows every action has an equal and opposite reaction in nature. As human beings I feel we need to be careful to avoid violent extremes.
My personal view is that we should examine everything we do by both its merits and its short-comings before choosing what to do next. We should I think take time to learn how to communicate with those we wish to open dialogues with as a first step; more so from those who are never given much in the way of opportunities to express themselves at all. I think we could learn the most from them but then as an artist with scientific leanings I'm rather partial to exploring the unknown.