Wednesday 25 September 2013

An amusing tale...

An amusing incident... Met a chap shopping who went to Oxford Uni then did another degree or masters or something at Dundee Uni.
He was lecturing his son about Romanticism.
He said that "the Romantics included Shelly who wrote Frankenstein and it's Arts way of providing an emotional reaction to the world without any rationale or logic behind it." (He couldn't use simple words of course, it was against his nature and pride after all that expensive education... he didn't want to sound common in his trendy and artistically torn expensive tweed jacket and cordroy trousers.

I almost said, "so killing people for no reason is logical is it, via science, politics and banking and social reform etc?"
Nooooo, Art has never said anything useful has it?

Instead I asked what he had studied at Uni. He snapped back "Art".
I asked his son what he wanted to be when he was older.
He said "An engineer"

I pointed out that good design was down to Art.
"Of course," his dad said, pompous git that he was he didn't much like talking to poor people despite him saying otherwise.
I stopped short of adding that "if you really study Art you will know that absolutely everything is influenced by the designs of nature, and is usually down to the fibonacci sequence which mathematicians unravelled to spoil the mystery for us all." but I didn't.

You get a better class of scum in Waitrose.

It was probably some butler doing emergency shopping for some toff or politician who is even more stupid than he was.

You only get higher class stupidity the further up the social ladder you climb.

BTW: I am not saying ALL highly educated people are niave, ignorant and dangerous to know.as this chap, though I could be wrong. I am so often you see, being so poorly educated as I am.

The Arts were NEVER made for the rich to buy or profit from. They have always belonged to the poorest and most desperate and they will always be it's rightful owners in my honest and extremely biased opinion.

Thursday 19 September 2013

Promotion: Trailer of forthcoming play...

The Tourist’s Guide to an
Un-United Kingdom


By WildeHeads
Plus one or two others...


Richard Heads, Ivor Head, Rose Wilde, Taffy Heads, Scot Heads, Paddy Heads,
Mr & Mrs Fanny Will Roger Wilde, Drools & Dribble Heads, Pat Heads,
Masters P.I.S.S. & S.T.O.N.E, Heads,
Pat Arse, Miss (and her little naughty brother) Master Bates, Ivor Biggun,
Nora Bone, Padded Pratts-Bottom, Ms Flange Bucket,
Pussy Cute, Titania ‘Tittie’ Dipper, ‘Power Drill’, Mr Angus ‘Beef’ Dripping,
Mademoiselle Ooo Er-More-Moore-More,  Mr & Mrs Nightwear-Dividers,
Ivor Biggest Purple-Python, Ozzie the Bruce Ripper, Prince Rumpy-Pumpy,
Amanda Rogers (every-Thursday), Henry Rogers-Wilde, Milkbottle Rogers,
Tower Powers-Rogers,
Booby-doobies Squidge (and their married daughter Doobie T-Smoke)
Blackpool & Eiffel Pyl-it-on Towers
And
John (Watneys Red Barrel) Smith

With additional material from...
Professor of Comedy (1st Class  don’t you know) HRH Heads,
Dr Dorothy Gov. Heads,
The Right Honourable Rev Clergy Lettuce Pray
Sgt Major Knock-one-out & General Major Ivor Wee Surprise for ye Lassie,
Air Field Marshall ‘Goalie’ Googlies, Rear Admiral Posterior,
Tadger, Todger, Bodger & The Artful Dodger (Civil Servants)
and various ‘Members’ of Parliament
 

With many not strictly legal acts of persuasion from members of ‘a’ Royal family
(which for legal reasons we cannot name)

Plus...
Further contributions from...

People sounding suspiciously like other people but who are in fact imposters, although... it depends on how you view these things really... as if you believe in a thing – apparently that’s not as only as good as true - these days that’s entirely enough to make it true...
(but that’s America for you - annoyingly bigger, faster and smarter)
for despite there being no evidence to prove anything at all
whatsoever...
ever...
ever...
ever...
one way or..
another...
that’s life.
Oh well... never mind...
Cheer up...
Things could be worse...
And if we imagine how they could be worse...
Not doubt they will be.
That’s assuming you want to hang around that long...
Which is another one for...
Maddeningly tedious...
Endless debate.
In a nutshell...
And not wishing to make light of these important philosophical debates,
Nor wishing to draw attention to them, or waste your time, even though they
determine the future of the whole of mankind (and the life as we know it on this planet)
Even though we never get past talking about things...
Dithering to the point of never making any sensible decisions...
Ever...
Ever...
Ever...
If you can’t take a joke
Then perhaps...
(and it’s only a suggestion...
You have the choice not to take this to heart...
Or in any way seriously...
 -Oh shit where was I, oh yes -
Perhaps if you can’t take that joke...
You not only shouldn’t have joined
But perhaps you should also NOT read.
No, no, no, please do not read, or listen or talk about or be foolish enough...
to perform the following...



HUMANE SAFETY WARNING (and disclaimer):

Laughter in small doses is safe.
Laughter in large quantities should only EVER be attempted in large groups of people.

Please read slowly and carefully...
We shall say this only once... but as to the repeats... that, sadly is beyond our control.

Any and all resemblance to any persons (or life forms including vegetables and fossils) living, existing, dying or dead (past, present or future) might be purely intentional,
but then again as that’s an assumption it probably, er... isn’t.
(Therefore it’s a coincidence, yer fool, so we’re legally in the clear!)