Article: Punch - trade secrets revealed

It's a funny thing that one of the many things we all agree on is how we loathe poor business practises in it's myriad of forms from bad HR departments through to aggressive sales practises and appalling customer services, yet the maxim is, "there is no such thing as bad publicity." I would beg to differ as enough bad publicity really ought to result in any organisation, enterprise or business failing or at least result in it being overhauled sensibly in the case of government departments and services to the public.

When you make contact with such organisations and services you often waste your phone bill waiting for someone to answer or waste time and money on emails and letters sent to either get no response at all, abusive response or fobbed off entirely. Such practises should indicate that the service (or product) is not worth the hassle of seeking via that supplier. Things become more difficult when there is no alternative e.g. health, education, utility sectors etc. 

If you finally get through often you find the people responding don’t have a clue what you are talking about because they ‘haven’t been trained yet’ or are ‘only temps’ and ‘it’s not MY fault’. Of course it is... you didn’t have to accept the job with no training with ANY company or engage with any enterprise that only employs lobotomised baboons for staff because that is what it’s actually run by. Then again when that's the only work you can get what can you do? You can complain to the authorities that regulate as that is what they are there for and the media is only too happy to support you in that.

If you’re financially stable enough and a humane being you would just leave and take your chances with the people YOU respect. In the case of government we voted them into power or let get in there by other means such as disinterest, fear and apathy.

When you finally calm down enough to explain the problem you often are told that they have ‘never heard it before’ and can’t understand what on earth you are talking about. BULLSHIT. They hear it all the time AND it’s what they complain about all the time  themselves! Does it change anything... er no. At least, not as often or as speedily as it should in the case of larger organisations who can afford to lose thousands of customers a day by being rude to them or non-responsive... or can they? From supermarkets to mobile phone providers, customers are getting increasingly adept at naming and shaming and voting with their purses and wallets.

When organisations do a fix of the problem it can get worse, so they do another fix based on the bad practises they started with to make matters worse. So you go to their competitor and it it can be the same story but with more buttons and prettier and more plentiful flashing lights! If your computer program does not work in so far as being able to save things or edit things without a glitch do you REALLY think all those bright new shiny flashy things on your NEW gadget will work any better? I mean really, do you?

How often do you use the extra shiny flashy things anyway? The more we have the more confused we get! At this rate chalk, slate and carrier pigeons will soon be the height of fashion again so it’s best to invest in them early if you want to make a killing financially.

Oh... and then there’s the accounts department that never compensates you and we wonder why we end up in a financial crisis when we refuse to spend what money we have and just stuff it under our matresses instead.

It's as if, if we’re not corrupt we are inefficient, if we’re not inefficient we’re stupid and if we are not any of those we are having a breakdown which puts extra strain and pressure on poor sods like me who’s duty it is to mop up and fix things properly only we can’t now because we all just want to have our breakdowns en masse in piece and quiet thereby transferring the pressure and mayhem to someone else for them to take their turn at having a breakdown later. Er... that ain't gonna help.

“Anyone for Beachy Head,” was actually a comment from a brilliant finance manager (now Finance Manager/Venue Manager/Ops Manager/Tech Manager and assistant to the Managing Director of the entire company due to cuts!) But they and the company are still going because they are that determined to succeed and overcome every challenge that comes their way. At the time I said we’d need a convoy of double decker buses to get to Beachy Head at least! (Beachy Head has the reputation of being a prime location for committing suicide for those of your that don't know).

Nothing much changes and what does, does so slowly except when people panic.

Well to ensure things change for better more rapidly I’ve come up with a cunning plan that may, or may not involve... a turnip (ref: Blackadder TV series). It depends on whether or not it needs inserting sideways I think. Then again a caber might be better for some customer service, HR and finance alleged professionals.

And it is simply this... I think what we perhaps need is a name and shame customer service blog site that is owned by everyone to cheer us all up and it would help vent some of our frustrations SAFELY without actually killing anyone. No, I didn’t say I would kill anyone with anything... actually being from Irish and Yorkshire descent rather than a turnip, I would most likely opt for something like a shellalagh smeared in pigeon droppings inserted sideways and send in a ferret with a potato to fetch it out again ready for the next arsehole as punishment. I like to be thorough and think ahead. It was the way I got inspired by proper professionals.

Anyway... I was thinking something rather like this... only with much larger boxes to fill in. It’s how I keep my records. I am very sneaky because I then go off and tell regulatory bodies first about bad practises and breaches in the law as prevention is always better and cheaper than cure... and there's always tweeting to the Prime Minister if you have a rotten MP or government department.

Here's just a couple of minor examples from my archives... Blurb.com will be named and shamed next year in full unless it gets it's act together beforehand. I'm over 70 emails of complaints in and they have stopped responding altogether over some basic errors that could be easily corrected if they had wit enough to bother.

Company	Contact	Problem	When	How	Who	Responses	Why	Outcomes	Resolved
Hermes		Poor strategic planning and non-payment of staff who were trying to save them money by coming up with something better	2 years before and during the Olympics 2012
Fed Ex		Poor delivery of goods as customer could not leave signed authorisation note in the street to be blown away or stolen	Oct 2013

I also research the CEO’s history and then nudge the media behind the scenes so everyone can see where we at with regard to making services and company policy and procedures work for customers and service users!

It's far quicker than going through the hassle, time, money and expense of court procedures. I mean let’s face it and be honest, trial by media really has something going for it these days, doesn’t it? AND it has the added benefit of making us feel a whole lot more secure too as others are only too eager to pipe up about their bad experiences and it's all highly theraputic to begin with at least. With all these oh so necessary, must have devices and channels we won’t be short of options to name and shame anything publicly ever again. Just one tiny weeny snag with all that though...

ALL THIS TECHNOLOGY STILL DOESN’T WORK AS IT SHOULD ANYWAY. Internet of things = Internet of dreams is more akin to the internet of doom, despair, rant and vitriol and personal abuse unless you can phrase things politely, ethically and with logical argument... it takes practice and I have still not reached perfection on this myself. Being human I don't expect to either.

Brains the size of planets? 

(Ref Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, book film, radio and TV series). It can be more like brains the size of fossilised car parks obliterated by all known chemical weaponry and nuclear bombs! I mean, why don’t scientists and inventors behave as such and get opinions first from the point-of-sale customers that will use their marvellous products and services because be assured they can tell you what risks, hazards and potential dangers there are if you ASK them first. Doh!

What I would like science to do before proceeding with any more bright ideas to drive us all insane, violent, to mass suicide or war is to anticipate outcomes more, prior to release of products perhaps with all governments kicking their arses all the way.

So to help with all of that... we need new form of course... As it happens here’s one I prepared earlier, and we the public could get to monitor progress for once... as it happens!

Item to fix	By what date	Why not done	Who’s being sacked	Why not sacked	Is it fixed, if answer is no companies funding by every means possible
Customer service
Website
PC program
Finance
Credit Control
New product or invention
New service

What we also need of course is a list of employers that are breaking the laws of every land for NOT complying with them for all the things they do wrong with money. Personally I will leave you to design that one for yourselves for the list of categories stretches from here to infinity for all eternity and beyond... or so it seems to me. But what would I know, I and my former colleagues in health care only have to patch you AND the transgressors up all the time.

“Which currency would you like to pay for your health, social services, charities and ‘benefits’ in? Blood, death, war or cash sirs?"

 Mindwalking

However, here are just a few of the more notable names in my historic list so far of those who have not abided by the law or who have tried to sue me for things which were not my fault. ALL of whom I have reported to the appropriate authorities already and being historic cases I cannot comment on their practises now.

Tangelo Designs from Barton-le-Clay (non payment of work)

Leisure Connections, Hertfordshire and Bedfordshire (breach of employment law, non payment of work)

Luton Borough Council (breach of employment law, awful HR department)

Aylesbury Vale District Council (breach of employment law)

Rushmere Wynne plc (Corrupt business practises, company long since taken over YAY!)

The list continues to grow. Still outstanding for reforms which are under way is of course...

Department of Work and Pensions (non payment of entitled benefits)

It remains to be seen as to whether or not the current overhaul will fix the basic essentials properly or not. So far it isn't for too many people. Then we'll have an election which may or may not result in it all being changed back to what it was before again I suppose. And they call this progress! 

I can say all this because to me it matters not how or when I die, others will ensure that these matters are resolved eventually. It would be nice to think that the solutions come in time to prevent the casualty list of those who suffer or die as a consequence of badly conceived ideas getting longer. What is vital here is for our governments to ensure that all organisations DO abide by the ethical laws of their lands when it comes to business practises so perhaps they will take this suggestion... 

Dear Governments

Please make it easier for everyone to report illegal practises by providing us all with the necessary vehicles to do so and the appropriate regulatory authorities to force compensation out of those who cause the financial abuse of others to the detriment of the whole economy globally. Perhaps several dedicated websites to that purpose might help. #Justsaying, #justanidea. 

High time that nice companies, enterprises and organisations ALWAYS finished first. High time that in the event of economic collapse there are safeguards in place to prevent community services, vital to the health of any nation ever being in any jeopardy of failing to save lives and prevent suffering.

Just because things have always been this way does not mean they have to remain in chaos. We all have a part to play in preventing disasters no matter what our role, position, background or personal circumstances may be. I am a 'positive possibilitist' I hope, dear readers, you are too. 

Keep calm, keep focused, be considerate of all and above all play nicely and fairly and maybe we can eradicate corruption, cruelty, poverty and abuse of all kinds from our planet in as little as 100 years. For that to happen it requires teamwork as never before as we now live in a world that is totally connected financially. What we now need to do is be in agreement ethically. What matters is not what mistakes are made, but how we resolve them sensibly for a healthy future for every individual on this beautiful planet so that all may achieve something of their true potential. Good luck everyone in that endeavour for all may profit, each according to their abilities and desires. Luckily not everyone wants to be the richest or most powerful person on the planet anyway, so why the fear that the rank and file want their jobs? Daft is what I call it. 

Research Files: Unemployment – a burden to all

Without doubt unemployment is a burden to all as well as a frustration. With unemployment figures showing no real sign of dropping, the prospect of higher taxes being levied to pay subsistence costs to those not working is not a happy one - but morally we shouldn't let people starve or go homeless. It doesn't take a genius to work out that it is always in our interests to have as many people working as possible. The more people work, the more money circulates as businesses have more customers. 

Let’s be honest - who of us hasn’t at some point in their lives faced the prospect of unemployment? If at no other time in our lives, as school leavers we do. At that point we just don’t know if we will make the grade or not. This is all the more likely when there is a national or global economic crisis or recession. In the last two years alone I have had go through the process of seeing through redundancies of fabulous staff in my role as a manager and been made redundant myself. Additionally, I have heard news of former colleagues from years ago of all ranks being made redundant too.

No one, I hope, likes redundancies – they are not pleasant processes to have to go through whether you are a manager implementing that painful decision, or a member of staff being made redundant. It should be (and usually is) a business decision not a personal slight which is of some comfort, especially when outside influences and not mismanagement has led to it.

There are in the UK employment laws and guidelines to follow - affected staff must be allowed time to seek alternative work and go for interviews and you cannot then hire new staff to take their place to do the same job. Nor are you allowed to use volunteers to do work that would normally be covered by a paid position, but we all know it happens. The ethics behind that I believe to be right but the realities of the working world mean that it can be of enormous help to both parties for volunteering to cover the essentials.  In rosier times, the hope is that those volunteers, having gained work experience, will be offered a paid position as a result of their efforts - although not everyone wants to be paid.

There is no point talking about unemployment though without understanding some realities the unemployed are facing - many of whom maybe friends, relatives and former colleagues of yours by now.

The realities of being unemployed

For those of you who have never been through the benefit system here is a brief outline of what others may be going through or have been through in order to secure work.

Firstly the amount you receive is determined by National Insurance contributions for the two types of Jobseekers Allowance. There used to be a crossover for top-ups if you had a medical condition or disability via Incapacity Benefits. More commonly now you are either on one or the other.  Housing (Council Tax) can be covered subject to meeting criteria and you don’t have to pay it back. It’s part of what we pay our taxes for – to help people through hard times so that they CAN get back on their feet and make contributions again when they secure work.  So far, so good but...

If you are a homeowner, unless you took out insurance against unemployment only the interest of your mortgage will be paid (up to a certain level and subject to meeting criteria) and even then it is only for a maximum of two years. Generally speaking home buyers have made additional contributions because they took out a mortgage, but not apparently to receive the same level of support if they hit hard times or indeed for as long.

However... all benefit claimants also get assistance with free prescriptions for most medical conditions, (not all) and further assistance is sometimes available for medical and other emergencies, even funeral costs (subject to criteria).

What you don’t get is additional money for utilities, food or clothing except in dire emergency. Basic benefits per week I believe on average to be £65.00 - that is the maximum you can be paid (it does go up by a couple of pounds after you've been deemed to be long-term unemployed (i.e. without work for six months or more). There are variations to this amount dependent on marital status, dependents and circumstances - hence the benefit fraudsters we hear about who capitalise on that. 

You can sometimes get assistance from the utility companies if they run such schemes and have money in the kitty to assist in emergencies (again dependent on criteria). There are too emergency benefits (e.g. Crisis Loans and Social Fund). These are usually in the form of repayable loans and payment usually starts (as far as I can fathom) immediately and are deducted at source thereby reducing the fortnightly sum of £130 further.

You DO NOT get additional money for internet connection, phone bills, envelopes and paper and postage when applying for work although there are things that help with that. The cost of running a car is also not covered.

To their credit the Job Centre does pay for travel expenses for interviews even retrospectively now so long as it’s provable and so long as the interview is over 15 miles from your home. It will also help with travel expenses all the way up to you receiving your first payment from a new employer. I happen to think the business world should do their bit to help the economy by paying new staff after their first week’s work. Cash flow may prevent it in all cases but none of us want to be paying more tax to facilitate those travel expenses do we? Without the government's intervention though, a lot of people simply cannot afford to even get to an interview.

A brief recap of the ethos behind welfare support

Initially the benefits system started to help UK citizens through times of extreme crisis to prevent starvation and homelessness and that is all. Its origins started in 19^th Century with Victorian philanthropists not in the 20^th Century as many suppose (you could argue it was earlier than that).

In the  20^th  Century the welfare system formed and has since undergone many changes and had many restructures to government departments to run it - in my lifetime, from the DHSS (Department of Health and Social Services) to the DWP (Department of Work and Pensions). This latest incarnation says it all... the deal is that if you need assistance you MUST be trying your best to seek employment no matter what your circumstances are, regardless even of disabilities. There has never been any significant increase in benefits to cover the costs of job seeking or to help facilitate it except via Employment Adviser Services.

Welfare to Work Services

Welfare to Work and Employment Advice Services are in main contracted by the DWP. Most help by providing clunky old PCs, intermittent internet connections, a couple of phones (in usually an open plan office), envelopes, paper and postage. They provide sterling advice services and guidance for the unemployed to help them to get the most of job searches, assist with CVs, cover letters, applications and interviews. All people need to do is ask at their local job centre to access it. Each advice service is paid £14,000 per benefit claimant.

Most if not all work on a target basis set by the DWP so have little time for morale and motivation boosting prior to job search activities (hence additional services supplied by many charities, social enterprises and some private companies). Some of these target based organisations have failed during this recession because they didn't meet those targets. It begs the question - is some help is better than none particularly when demand for such services is, if anything, increasing according to recent reports? Is it perhaps a tad unfair to hold these service providers responsible for the effects of a recession? Then again, the government needs to ensure every penny it spends is spent wisely and effectively. 

The poverty trap

On the thankfully few occasions I have been on benefits I can honestly say that the vast majority of job seekers are honest people who want to be employed and not professional fraudsters who have no intention of securing legitimate work ever. It is therefore grossly unfair to criminalise and stigmatise the unemployed as a whole as aside from being extremely unhelpful – how does that solve the problem?

The most difficult issue by far is whether or not people will be better off for working. Often part-time work results in benefits being deducted penny for penny after the first £5-£20 is earned (dependent on circumstances). In most cases this meagre amount would not cover the travel expenses to get to work. The government has introduced the Back to Work Calculation and Tax Credits to assist, but frankly it isn’t enough. Rumour has it that new initiatives will be brought in next year - what they will be I haven’t a clue but I'm not hopeful.

The domino effect

In the last couple of years this economic crisis has seen many high ranking managers, company directors and even CEOs be made redundant; there are cases where they have become job seekers voluntarily resigning to ensure their organisations survive the recession and to save lower paid staff their jobs. Some have gone on to secure new positions at a lower level and at substantially reduced salaries. The knock on effect of that is that lower ranking managers end up taking the jobs normally taken by supervisors etc until in the end it hits the unskilled labour level or those looking for their very first job opportunity.

Compounding that are the recruiters and HR departments who are asking for more and more qualifications, skills and experience to help them shortlist (aside from anything else). This domino effect isn't unique to a recession but it certain escalates during one.

Another good initiative from the government did come in the form of apprenticeships and some funds for training but the latest indications are that they are likely to be cut now. Other ideas to resolve unemployment include more job-share opportunities, more jobs at lower salaries and quite simply short-listing according to what skills are required instead of on qualifications or even experience. I personally like the job-share idea best and more people being employed on a contract basis. In these uncertain times, businesses would do well not to over commit by offering contracts for over a year - nothing to stop them being reviewed and renewed though. With more short-term contracts the prospect of everyone getting some financially viable employment increases in my opinion.

An appeal to the business community

My real reason for writing this article is to inform the business community to prompt it to think about what it can do to ease the burden of vast numbers of unemployed people, as it helps no one, (nor the economy), to have people unemployed.

Heaven knows how complex it is for the DWP to overhaul the current system, but it certainly needs it. What hasn’t helped is successive governments scrapping what their predecessors have put in place that was working. Would that they displayed a more businesslike approach and collaborated to find the right solutions to sort this once and for all. A joint effort from all political parties on this issue might just achieve that, I think. Unlikely to happen though, I fear.

Finally...

If you are experiencing any difficulty at all related to unemployment the Job Centres have information of local support agencies which are there to help you. Failing that there are the CABs (Citizen’s Advice Bureaus) - they are a charity and therefore reliant on donations etc for funding. Those working could help with either donations or by volunteering as advisers (if you have time to spare) as the CAB strives to provide information on the professional services out there for anything people may need a hand with.

The CAB does not help with looking for work. Instead google 'Welfare to Work', 'Employment Advice' and 'Careers Advice' services if ever you are stuck or indeed if you want to change your job. Any one of them should be able to list all local recruitment agencies as well as general and industry specific on-line sites where you can upload your CV and get job-alerts by email. If they don't... find another that does. That search also lists specific sources of help if you suffer from any form of disability although the Job Centres themselves will happily connect you to the local services they know of.

Hope it helps.