Monday 14 December 2015

Picture This: Pantopanic (back by popular request)

WARNING: this should never be read by any member of the public, technical crews, actors, singers, dancers, animals, commissioning managers, clients and especially not theatrical directors - this just leaves children and the mentally insane by our reckoning. 


The twelve hours 'til Christmas (panto)



On the twelfth hour 'til Christmas my client wished of me, 
A parcan up a bean tree.

On the eleventh hour 'til Christmas my client wished of me,
Two trelcos working and a parcan up a bean tree.

On the tenth hour 'til Christmas my client wished of me
Three misty hazers, two treclos working and a parcan up a bean tree.

On the ninth hour 'til Christmas my client wished of me
Four chorus birds, three misty hazers, two treclos working and a parcan up a bean tree.

On the eighth hour 'til Chrismas my client asked of me
MORE mirrored balls!
Four more chorus birds, three hazers, two more tallescopes 
And a parcan up a bean tree.

On the seventh hour 'til Christmas my client asked of me
Six swipes not swaying, 
MORE mirrored balls!
Four new chorus birds, three actors, two more tallescopes 
And a parcan up a bean tree.

On the sixth hour 'til Christmas my client asked of me
Seven tills a ringing, six swipes not swaying, 
MORE mirrored balls!
Four new chorus birds, funny actors, two more tallescopes 
And a parcan up a bean tree.

On the fifth hour 'til Christmas my client asked of me
Eight adverts billing, seven tills a ringing, six swipes not swaying, 
MORE mirrored balls!
Four new chorus birds, evil actors, two more tallescopes 
And a parcan up a bean tree.

On the fourth hour 'til Christmas my client asked of me
Nine donkeys prancing, eight TV billings, seven tills a ringing, six swipes not swaying, MORE mirrored balls!
Four new chorus birds, three actors, two more tallescopes 
And a parcan up a bean tree.

On the third hour 'til Christmas my client sent to me
Ten techies weeping, nine donkeys prancing, eight TV billings, 
Seven tills not ringing, six swipes all swaying, MORE mirrored balls!
Four new chorus birds, three actors, two more tallescopes 
And a parcan up a bean tree.

On the second hour 'til Christmas my client sent to me
Eleven writers writing, ten techies weeping, nine donkeys prancing, eight TV critics, 
No tills a ringing, six swipes all swaying, MORE mirrored balls!
Four more chorus birds, three hazers, two more tallescopes and a parcan up a bean tree.

On the last hour 'til Christmas my client sent to me
Twelve wheelchairs coming, eleven writers writing, ten techies weeping, 
Nine donkeys prancing, eight new TV critics, no tills a ringing, six swipes all swaying, 
MORE mirrored balls!
Four more chorus birds, three hazers, two more tallescopes and a parcan up a bean tree.


NOTE: Few theatrical productions have enough of a budget to get things done as they would wish to which automatically leads to inventive, creative and fun solutions emerging from sheer determination from all involved.

Try and catch a live show this festive season. Quite a few don't even mention Christmas or... go mad and get involved in one!

Lastly most festive productions raise much needed money for all manner of good causes... told you they're crazy! Enjoy and have a wonderful, safe, healthy, happy festive season and future!

Mel x

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